Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Coming out of the Closet


I've been in hiding a little bit.  Not really on purpose, but with lots going on in different arenas.  So much in so many places that it's been hard for me to sit and focus on writing anything, especially since all of my life intertwines within itself.  So, what am I coming out about?  Well, Zane has RAD.  Reactive Attachment Disorder.  Terrible/Great news!  Our parenting of him has taught us a ton over the past four years.  We've never stopped trying to help him or our family.  We never will.  For once, though, we have finally come to a diagnosis that actually FITS!  100% fits.  Why this matters?  Well, because now we can get it, really GET IT.  We can help him in a way that we haven't been able to before.  We're finding support from an online community of parents who are doing this too.  We do have a little twist in our story, because most children who have RAD are adopted, but that's not entirely true in our case.   Regardless, now that I've come out about it and said it, I can now feel free to speak openly about that and become part of the community that has helped me so much over the past few months.  YAY.

Jon and I have been working hard on getting our business up and running.  Our goal is to open and fully launch in November.  There's a LOT more work to be done yet.  Whew!  What started off as a great idea of some pants and a website has morphed into a reality and there's a ton of work that goes into it.  We're having fun learning new things, working together on something other than parenting, and watching each other accomplish things.  It's been really nice for our marriage, particularly because we're enduring enormous amounts of stress with parenting with very little outside support.  Experiencing all of this with him just feeds my already overfilled cup of gratitude!  We are so very blessed to have one another as partners and I love that all of these things brings us closer, not against each other.  Thank God.

Stori's been developing like a...well... like a toddler.  She's talking up a storm, helping with chores, being ever more affectionate, and her imagination is going wild.  She's also fallen absolutely in love with her BFF and she talks about "Baby River" almost every day.  I honestly didn't know that toddlers fell in love with their friends in this way.  Haven't experienced it before.  Very cool.

Lastly, after all of our chaos in June...  we're certain we'll be home/un schooling Zane at some point next week.  School is NOT working this year and the stress on all of us is too much.  It's also working directly against the way we need to progress with our parenting to attach with him and guide him into healthier relationships with people and, most importantly, himself.  We came to a decision today which is that we talked with Zane and let him know he seems to not know what he wants.  He says he wants school, but he's not doing his school work.  He says he doesn't want to home school, but he doesn't want to go to school.  So, we said...  Yo, if you want to be in school do your school work, if you don't want to be in school then come home.  Since you seem confused, we'll help you.  Three more days of refusing your school work and we'll home school.  Today, he decided to not to his school work.  Two more days.  We'll see, but I'm pretty sure we'll be at home next week.  

1 comment:

  1. It's so adorable that Stori has such a big friend-crush on River. Especially because River's mom has a huge friend-crush on Stori's mom! <3