Friday, April 1, 2011

About Identity

This is my favorite thing about putting in dreadlocks:

I feel like me.

It's just hair, after all.  So it seems silly to me, because as much as I've been "into" my hair for years, I've not been into "doing" my hair pretty much ever.

I frequently see women who are living with their own sense of style that's strong and opinionated and I've held a certain amount of envy or maybe intrigue toward them for it.  I see women who put together amazing outfits that when they walk into a room or they catch my eye, they're screaming "THIS IS ME" and I want it.  I want to know how to express myself through my appearance.

In the past -almost 2- weeks I've felt better about who I appear to be than ever before.  I feel like I appear to be me and that, my friends, is a rockin new feeling I've not had before!!

I've looked in the mirror frequently.
I've messed with my hair multiple times every day.
I've made AND POSTED videos on YouTube.
I've asked Jon to take pictures of me.
I've asked my friend to take pictures of me.
I've felt more confident when going in public.

All because of my hair.


I've heard of the "spiritual journey" of dreadlocks before and I don't get it.  It's foreign to me.  I think in my particular case, I was experiencing deep and profound spiritual healing in a couple aspects of my being when the night came that I started knotting my hair.  I think this has been part of that spiritual path for me, having the cajones to just do what I've pondered for so long.  And so I guess I'm starting to see a bit of how this could be a catalyst for things to come and I'm welcoming whatever happens with open arms.

I've only had one person outwardly express their dislike of my hair and it rolled off my back pretty easily.  Of course it burned for a moment, no one wants to hear that someone thinks they look stupid.  But because I love-so-very-much what's happening on my head the comment didn't phase me for long.

That, alone, was powerful for me.  I am living what I want to be living and so someone's put-down didn't make me second-guess myself.

Before a couple of weeks ago, I had never been that powerful on my own two feet.

So, to the nay-sayer I truly thank you.  Deeply, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you for giving me the opportunity to experience the confidence I did in that exchange between the two of us.

To every reader that comes across this:

Do something powerful, for yourself.  This week.  Something that makes you feel good.  Feel great.  Not something that makes you feel like you're "proving" yourself to anyone.  Lord knows I've tried that a bazillion, gagillion times and it didn't work.  But something that you do solely for you and your confidence.

Then if you feel so inclined, come share it with us.  ;-)

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