Last Friday I had a coaching session with Tara and it was great. Not only is she super comfortable to talk with, but she "got" me and my struggles, I think. She had a couple of really great solutions for me to implement, not only did she validate some of the things we already implement, but she also brought up things that are semi-related and ideas for solutions. Yay. :-)
First on my list : Fight for my kids. This doesn't, obviously, mean go out and kick ass in their name. But, it does mean if I'm embarrassed to do something they really feel they need I need to identify and get over what it is that embarrasses me.
Example : Zane has been continuously asking me to call his girlfriend and invite her for a playdate. I've been embarrassed, as we've already called a couple of times and been rejected. I don't want to seem rude, pushy, or like an idiot to her Mom by continuously trying. But, why not? Cause I'm afraid of what she'll think of me. Why do I care? I dunno. Habit, I guess. Why shouldn't I let this bother me? Zane needs to see ME pushing for HIM. Not for my own humility. So, we called again. And again. We haven't heard back. I've just decided that when he wants to call, he can call. If they respond, great. If they blow us off, he'll figure out it's her issue. But, he'll know it's not ME standing in the way. Good stuff.
Second on my list : Listen to what HE wants. Don't get me wrong... I'm not to any point of wanting to give him everything he wants. That is NOT what I'm talking about. I'm talking about LISTENING to him. So often, I don't. I hear him request something and I don't listen to why or what. He is intuitive as well. In fact, it's long been my belief that all children are immensely intuitive, but are trained by us to not be. We want to tell them what they need or what they want or how they feel, starting right away. When infants cry we say to them "It's okay, you're alright." Guess what... If it's okay and they're alright they wouldn't be crying! We tell our toddlers they don't WANT to walk off the edge of a porch. Yeah, they do. They want to find out what happens. Rather than hold their hand while they walk off and help them if they fall or startle we tell them what the hell they want.
Very important to note!!! I feel it imperative to the publishing of this post to say that these are all examples of things I've found myself to need help with. This was inspired by my coaching with Tara, but not direct instruction from her. Should you feel you want to begin unschooling or even want to speak with someone about issues you have, regardless of time spent on your journey thus far, please, PLEASE contact her for a coaching. During our conversation my brain just opened up to all sorts of solutions and even problems I didn't think I was having. This post is not intended to advise you on anything you should choose for yourself or your family, but rather to share what we're experiencing and inspire you to become self-aware and a conscious parent.